


we're terrified of what's around the corner

by xiaoxhris



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mental Breakdown, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:26:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27354178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiaoxhris/pseuds/xiaoxhris
Summary: There's a rumor going around, in a school that Han Jisung goes to, that there will be a new exchange student coming to their class. He doesn't really like the kid at first, so he's not happy when he sees the new person joining him and his friends at the literature club.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello dear Traveler,  
> This is my first time trying to write a whole ff in English as it's not my first language. I tried my best to make it read nicely, but maybe it just sounds fine to me and is written weirdly from an English speaker's point of view. If there are mistakes please correct me, because I want to use it as a learning opportunity. Also I've written few ffs before but it's only my second time posting so please be considerate  
> Thank you for reading!

The weather was definitely too hot for Jisung. His eyes were closing on their own and his head was swaying back and forth trying to keep him decently awake. The school had started two months ago, but he was already falling asleep on every lesson. The day had also just begun and they were sitting in the morning assembly. There was a rumor going around in the class that a transfer student would be joining them for the year. Jisung wasn’t particularly interested in that, but his friends were always debating whether it was going to be a cute girl or some nerdy dude who transferred probably due to his grades. They were going to a quite recognizable school with a good reputation, so it was no surprise that people wanted to transfer here.

When he was in the midst of dozing off, one of his friends tapped him on the shoulder.  
“So who do you think it will be?“ Minho asked for the hundredth time. “I personally hope it will be a cute girl.”  
Minho was a sweet guy, but he could be really nosy at times and didn’t know what personal space was. Every week his crush was a new girl, so at this point he could date the whole planet and he could be fine, still, no one ever liked him back.  
“Personally, I couldn’t care less.” Jisung said, with a rather harsh tone. His precious quiet time was interrupted and he wasn’t happy about it.  
“Oh come on! We’re all excited! i know you’re too.”  
And in fact, he was, he was excited, like everyone else. He wasn’t really interested in gender, but hoped for someone cool whom he could talk about music, because none of his friends were interested.

The loud classroom went completely silent, when the teacher walked into the room. You could almost touch the intense atmosphere with your hand. The teacher placed his things on the desk and moved to the center of the class. He cleared his throat and started speaking.  
“As you have known for a while now, today a new student will be joining us. He’s not from around here, so don’t mind if he makes a mistake while speaking.”  
Jisung heard a disappointed sigh from behind when the teacher unintentionally confirmed that it was a boy.

When the door to the classroom opened a faint ‘hello’ could be heard, as the boy walked to the center and stood beside the teacher. Teacher gestured to him to introduce himself.  
“Hi I’m Chris Bang from Australia, but you can call me Chan” He said and his curly hair bounced when he bowed.  
Actually, Jisung had been expecting a typical foreigner when the teacher said about his troubles with the language. Instead he was surprised to see an asian person walk in, but then the new guy could be from China or Japan. He certainly wasn’t expecting anyone from as far as Australia. He caught himself thinking how undeniably pretty the new guy was, with his fair skin, dark eyes and hair that was supposedly naturally curly. He had a nicely proportioned face that was pleasant to look at.

The boy took the empty place in the third row across to the left of Jisung, so he had a clear view of him. The teacher told the boy to tell him if he was having any trouble understanding something and after the boy nodded, he started the lesson.

For the whole day Jisung could hear his friends talking about the new guy behind him. Even during the dinner break it was the only topic of conversation. For the first hour it was amusing, hearing all of their conspiracy theories, about why his family moved so far away, but got annoying, the longer it went on. In fact, the whole class was talking about it and even some people went up to Chan to ask, but none got a response. It was established that he would be the loner of the class, he shut everyone's attempt of conversation down. it was clear he already made enemies within the class and rumours started spreading around him. Frankly Jisung didn’t feel much sympathy for the guy and his presence was somewhat annoying him. He hoped he could get away after the classes, but his friends reminded him about the literature club. They were the only ones there so they didn’t even have specific activities, they mostly just layed around, some sleeping, the rest playing on their phones or talking. Today he knew what the topic would be, so he wanted to just go home. Unfortunately, it was the first week of June, so the teacher checked on them religiously to, at least, keep them there for the first week, then they could do what they wanted.

They entered the club room labeled as the literature club on the second floor. They threw their bags on the sofa and sat around the table near a big window, looking over the soccer field with rock tribunes. They already agreed that in the first week they will take a random book off the shelf that stood in the far corner of the room. Then they would place it on the table, pretending that it was the topic of their conversation.

This time they picked a book of foreign poems. On one page was the original and next to it the korean translation. They decided that it was easy to pretend to be talking about it so Hyunjin threw it on the table. Suddenly Minho turned to Jisung.  
“So Jisung, we haven’t heard your opinion on the new guy yet.”  
“Yeah, you’re avoiding the topic all day” Jeongin joined in. “But we have you stuck here, so you won’t be running away from the answer.”  
They laughed at his choice of words.  
“Ah, we can see that you’re from the literature club, so no need to flex your sentences little guy” Hyunjin teased him.

Jeongin hit him on the head. He was a class lower than them, but despite that, he quickly became their friend. It was Hyunjin that introduced him to the rest. They met in their local game stop, which was holding a competition for a, then, new game. Jeongin won that time, so Hyunjin bothered him to explain how he did it. They started talking and it turned out that the younger one will start going to the same school as all of them, and so, when the year started, Hyunjin brought him to them ,the first chance he had and introduced him. It was about a year ago, now leaving Hyunjin, Jisung and Minho in the third year and Jeongin in the second.

“We’re getting side-tracked.” Minho said. “Come on Jisung, tell us about your first impression.”  
Jisung didn’t need to think long, he sighed and said.  
“I don’t like the guy. He annoys me for some reason.”  
“You just don’t like that he’s getting all the attention” he laughed.  
“Oh come on! I’m not that petty to dislike him for that!” Jisung clarified. “I just don’t like that he doesn’t let anyone talk to him, like he thinks he’s better than us.”  
“I suppose he has his reasons” Jeongin joined in. “Maybe he’s just shy.”  
“Shy?” Minho scoffed. “Have you seen him? He could break all of Hyunjin’s bones if he wanted to, he doesn’t need to be shy. Hey!” Minho said as Hyunjin pulled his ear. They started jokingly fighting, as the rest watched them in amusement.

Jeongin and Jisung were in the middle of discussing what to bet on who would win, when they heard a soft knock. They all quickly gathered themselves, thinking it was the teacher checking up on them after he heard the commotion. They were very wrong.  
“Come in!” they shouted and saw the door slightly open. A bush of dark, curly hair poke out. It was Chan.  
“Hi, is this the literature club?” he asked.  
“Yeah, come on in.” Jeongin invited him. Everyone seemed excited to have him in the club, everyone except Jisung. Minho got up and brought him a chair to the table, so he had where to sit. Then he sat himself and rested his chin on his arms.  
“So… why the literature club?” he asked.  
“I kinda like reading and I thought that the literature club would be the easiest one" he answered truthfully. "I don't have much time for clubs, but you get the extra points, so I picked what seemed convenient.  
There was a relieved sigh for everyone.  
"Oh man" Minho said as he patted Chan on the shoulders. "I got scared for a second that you actually want to be here" he laughed.  
"After club time ends, go to Jisung" here Hyunjin pointed to him "and ask for a form to fill out. He's the 'president'" he mimicked quote marks in the air "so we leave all the formal work to him. In the meantime I will walk you through the club activities."  
He then proceeded to tell him about the one week policy, where they have to pretend they're hard working students if the teacher unexpectedly comes in. Then he told him to basically do what he wants and if he wants to do a bigger project, to just tell them to move off the table so he can do it in peace.

The whole time Jisung was spacing out. Even when Minho and Jeongin unintentionally pushed him, while running around, he just went back to spacing out after a few seconds. He didn't even notice when it was time to go home. He focused, only after he heard his name being called by someone who was also tapping him on the shoulder aggressively.  
"Hey!" Hyunjin shouted and prepared to hit him again, but Jisung stopped him. "Are you dead or something? Sitting here lifeless. Go get papers for Chan so you can go home.  
"Are you going to wait?" Jisung asked. "You're leaving me with him?" He whispered the last part.  
Hyunjin chuckled.  
"He's not a dangerous animal stupid. Also I don't want to waste my precious free time on you" he said walking out of the door.

They left Jisung and Chan alone in the club room. Jisung was really trying not to make eye contact with him when he went to get the papers out of the drawer. He rummaged around in the open shelf searching for the application form. The whole time he felt Chan's eyes on his back. When he turned around, Chan was standing closer than before, because not on the other side of the room, but barely 2 meters behind him. Jisung went around him, sat at the table and gestured for him to do the same. The silence was unbearable, but neither of them wanted to be the one to break it. Jisung suspected that there would be some tension between them, because of his dislike of Chan, which he didn't want to admit to the real reason, creating other reasons. He slid the application through the table, for Chan to fill out. This gave Jisung more time to get a closer look at Chan's face.

It was surely pretty pleasant to look at, which made him more annoyed, because how could he, even slightly, enjoy looking at the face of a person he didn't like. Chan's face was really nicely proportioned. He had single eyelids, which also surprised Jisung, because he thought that maybe he was mixed, because what other reason would there be for his parents to live in Australia. His skin was extremely white, almost like a vampire. The one thing Jisung also noticed that, when he focused and held his lips tightly shut, a cute dimple formed on one of his cheeks. He scolded himself for thinking that, as if Chan could hear his thoughts and assumed something about him. The thought that he found Chan pretty cute disgusted him. How could he even think that. It was unnatural.  
"I finished. Do I just leave it here or take it to the leading teacher?" Chan's voice broke his train of thought, Jisung thought for a second.  
“You can go, I will take it to the teacher so you don’t have to stay too long on your first” he tried sounding friendly, but it didn't quite turn out well and sounded more aggressive than he intended.  
“Is the club only today or other days of the week as well?”  
“Tuesdays and Fridays after class.” Jisung said in a dismissive tone.  
Chan took his things and quickly disappeared in the hallway.

When Jisung couldn’t hear the others footsteps he slammed his head into the table. It sure hurt and would leave a small bruise but he had a fringe so it wouldn’t be noticeable. He was mad at himself. He tried to make a good impression but the anger he aimed at himself was let loose at the source of his disappointment. From the moment Chan walked into the classroom, Jisung was attracted to him. To his gentle features, soft voice and fuzzy dark hair. He hated himself for that, he couldn’t let it be known to anyone, especially his friends. It was disgusting, unnatural. How could he be normal while thinking about how much he wanted Chan to smile at him, every time he looked at his face. Jisung was breathing heavily. He just wanted to go home and sleep the awful thoughts away, but he still had to take the papers to the teacher who was in care of the club.

Shaking, he began to get up. The door was still open but no one, beside the teachers, was inside the school. He took the application in one hand and with the other he picked up his bag and threw it over his shoulder.

After closing the club room he proceeded to go down the hallway and down the stairs, to the teachers room located on the first floor. He knocked when he entered the room. He saw the teacher inside and made his way over.  
“Mr. Jeon?” he called to bring the teacher’s attention to him.  
“Do you need something?” he asked, his eyes still on the computer screen.  
“The new guy from my class joined the club” Jisung said. “We already made him fill out the application so I brought it in.”  
He handed the paper to the teacher and turned to walk out, but was stopped by the teacher's gesture.  
“He was here a second ago” Mr. Jeon turned to look at him.  
“Who?” Jisung asked dumbly.  
“Chan, the new student” he said in a surprisingly serious tone.  
“Did he… complain?”  
“No” Jisung sighed relieved “but he did say that you were quite cold towards him. I’m not blaming you in any way” the teacher quickly clarified. “Just if you could tell me the reason, maybe we could work it out some way.”  
Jisung bit his lip. He couldn’t say the truth, so he searched for an explanation.  
“Emm…” he stuttered. “I’m sorry if he felt that way, I’m just dismissive towards strangers” he got around the point perfectly, still, Mr. Jeon looked at him suspiciously.  
‘If that’s all, then I’m not pushing you, but if something happens then please talk to me. I wouldn’t want any conflict between students.”  
Jisung nodded and headed out.

He almost wanted to tell the teacher what was bothering him. He really liked Mr. Jeon, who was always kind and really understanding. Students always went to him with their problems, whether it be with studying or personal ones, he always listened and gave good advice. Many liked his wise words. He was a literature teacher and the school’s unofficial therapist. He sometimes joked that he should be paid more.

Jisung took a deep breath when he left the building. The sky was a deep shade of blue, littered with many clouds. He felt stupid for how he let his emotions take over his actions. He took another few deep breaths to clear his mind. Walking forward, he left the shade casted by the school and the sun attacked his eyes. He tried to shield them with his hand but it didn’t work so he just simply closed them. Because of that he didn’t notice there was someone waiting at the school entrance.

When passing the gate he heard someone call his name. He turned left but the sun hit his face directly so he just saw a shape leaning against the wall. He moved closer until the brick wall completely covered the light. Then when his eyes got used to the sudden change, he could make out a silhouette. Just after Jisung managed to push him out of his head, there he stood, his skin exceptionally pale against the brick wall. Jisung controlled his urge to run away as far as he could.  
“Are you waiting for me?” he asked, still suprised.  
“Yeah, I don’t think we started on a good note, right? How about we start over?” he smiled gently and Jisung just couldn’t say no.  
“Okay” he smiled back. “I’m Han Jisung, nice to meet you” he reached out his hand and Chan took it.  
“I’m Bang Chan, I hope we get along” his smile was now really wide, with his dimple showing even more.  
Jisung looked down. He couldn’t make himself look up. The sight was too beautiful, he laughed to himself.  
“Which way are you going?” he asked Chan as he, again, tried to focus on his face.  
“That way” he pointed to his right.  
“Oh, I’m going the opposite.”  
“Then I guess we’ll part our ways here. See you tomorrow?”  
“Yeah, and remember to read something so we look like we know what we’re talking about when the teacher comes in” Chan laughed at his comment.  
“Don’t worry, I will” he turned left and started walking away. “See you!” he said as he waved.  
Jisung waved back, for a moment standing there, and just looking at Chan walking away. He smiled to himself, there was only one thought in his mind, ‘I’m pathetic.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Traveler,  
> It took me a lot of time to finish this one, but it's mostly because consistency is not my best trait. Still, I hope those who read it will enjoy my suffering on a page.  
> Thanks for reading!

Jisung was laying in the club room with a book on his face. This day was especially boring and tiring. Their teachers must have agreed to go hard on them today and drained them all from their energy. That’s why now he was sleeping. Being up just to communicate with others would be too much of a bother for him, so he tried avoiding interaction.

The past few weeks had been hectic for him. He tried avoiding Chan as much as possible without making it seem suspicious. Jisung still didn’t feel comfortable enough to talk to him normally. Maybe they started their acquaintance again and on the right foot this time, but certainly didn’t change the thoughts in his mind. It all was too much for him so staying away seemed like the best choice. They started talking on occasion, but not as much as with the rest of the squad. Chan started talking a lot with Minho, they found out that they’re both fans of the same show and that was all they were talking about, and when they started there was no stopping them.

Jisung sat up, making the book fall on the ground. He blinked a few times, because he was still a little dizzy from the nap. He rubbed his eyes with his fingers, almost inverting them into his skull and then he looked around. It was already dark outside and there was no one in the room with him. He ran his fingers through his hair, it was surprising that no one from the school staff had thrown him out, but maybe they just didn’t bother to check the rooms.

He got up and lifted his bag off the floor. It was time to go home, he was sure that his parents must’ve been worried that he wasn’t coming. Throwing the bag on his shoulder he reached for the door, but then he heard faint screaming coming from the corridor. Jisung was confused, was it just his mind playing tricks on him? It definitely wasn’t anyone from the staff, because they should have gone to their homes a while ago, so it must’ve been one of the students and they were heading this way, probably thinking there was no one here. That’s why Jisung decided to hide somewhere. Maybe it seemed very childish, but he thought it was a great idea at the time.

After he went behind the bookshelf he waited. He heard the shouting get closer, until the person that was speaking entered the room. Jisung heard the door to the club room open and then slam with a lot of force.  
“Stop! I already told you that I’m capable of doing that myself!” Jisung heard the person shout, presumably into the phone because he heard only one set of footsteps. He was surprised after he recognized the voice. It was no one other that Chan. “Let me do everything on my own! I will fix that as soon as I can! Just give me some more time!”

Chan sounded frustrated and desperate. Jisung didn’t understand any of it. Why did he need more time? Why was that person angry with him? And what did he have to do? All the questions were bothering him. Did Chan have anything to hide? If he found out what it was, maybe the others secretiveness would be explained.

While Jisung was contemplating what he just heard, the older boy had already hung up and thrown his phone into a wall. The bang made Jisung snap out of his thoughts, he then heard another slam which indicated that Chan walked out, or rather, stormed out.

Han didn’t even need to think much about it and immediately decided to follow him out. Walking along the dark corridor wasn’t really the best thing he had in mind, but the only one he could do now. He might have come out as suspicious, following the other boy without his knowledge, still he didn’t stop. Chan was far ahead from Jisung and already out of the school.

When the younger boy walked out a cold wind blew all over him. He took a deep breath. The cold air filled his lungs, refreshing his mind, but at the same time he got a little dizzy. He shook his head and tried to focus on why he was even here. He tried to figure out what was going on with Chan and what he was hiding. Han looked around, trying to find the other one again.

Jisung quickly spotted him, surprisingly he was still on the school grounds and didn’t walk out of the front gate. Instead he was walking towards the back exit, which was located right beside the soccer field. Even from the distance he could see that Chan wasn't looking so well. He was dragging his backpack along the ground. He was swaying from side to side and Jisung saw him lean on the lamp post before falling to the ground.

Han didn’t know what to do. His body just moved on its own. He dropped his own bag and started running towards Chan. It didn’t take long until Jisung was kneeling right beside him and then he saw. His head was hanging low between his hands propped against the pavement. The older boy’s hair was sticking to his forehead and his gaze was foggy. He appeared to be out of breath, or at least struggling to breathe, because Jisung could hear his short gasps.There was a little saliva running down out from his mouth, but he probably didn’t even notice. When the younger boy reached his hand out, to tap him on the shoulder, the other boy flinched and dropped to his elbows, hitting his head on the pavement.  
“Oh my God, are you okay?” Han asked. He didn’t know what to do, it was his first time in a situation like that. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” he said.  
“Shut… up” he heard  
“What’s happening? Is there anything I can-”  
“I can’t breathe Jisung!” Chan’s head shot up and even with his eyes like behind a mist, he looked scary. Jisung retracted the hand that was still on the other one’s shoulder. The head with curly hair returned to its original place, between Chan’s hands, on the ground.

Han then saw the other one starting to violently shake and cough aggressively. Was he dying right before Jisung’s eyes? The younger boy really didn’t know what to do, he was scared to touch him again, because what if it resulted in more injury like the last time? He tried to think, fast. Why did he never search, what to do in this type of situation, but what was happening exactly. He didn’t even know what was actually going on. Was it some kind of attack? A sickness? Maybe asthma?

Chan slowly sat up. He was still shaking a lot but the coughing stopped. He was now taking deep slow breaths, or at least trying to. He cupped his hands and raised them to his face. After taking a few breaths he moved them away, but then he repeated this motion a few times.

Jisung was still sitting in front of him, frozen. The only thing he could think of doing right now was something his sister had told him. When she moved out from their family’s house, she finally started going to a psychiatrist. She panic attacks all her life, but she always kept it on the down low and none of them knew about it. Only when she moved out and Jisung visited her, she told him that if she ever does have an attack during his visit, the only thing he should do is hug her, because it reassured her that she’s not alone and has unconditional support in him. And so he did just that.

Han moved a little closer to Chan and wrapped his hands around him. The older boy didn’t move for a second, but after a while he hugged back. They held each other tightly, Jisung stroking olders curly hair and Chan although he stopped trembling he was sobbing a little into Han’s sweater.  
“Are you okay now?”  
“Do I look like, I’m okay?” Chan snickered and after a while he added “I’m sorry you had to witness all of that.”  
“I know how life can be so, don’t apologize.”

He helped him get up and took both of their backpacks. Jisung thought for a moment, he couldn’t take the older boy to his house, because his parents didn’t allow strangers, but on the other hand he didn’t know where the other one lived and right now he seemed out of it, barely standing on his own feet and swaying a little. The best option right now was going back to the club room. He was hoping that in the few minutes they were outside, no one closed the door to the school.

They both went towards the entrance, thankfully the doors were still open. They went in and started going up the stairs. It was a little hard for Han, considered that he carried their bags and Chan himself, but nonetheless they both made their way there safely. As soon as they walked into the room, Jisung dropped their things on the floor and helped the other boy sit on the couch.  
“Do you have something to eat?” Chan suddenly asked.  
“No, not really,” the other boy said, a little confused “but I can get you something if you want?”  
“If you could.” Then he just closed his eyes and fell on the sofa.

Jisung took his wallet from his bag and, once again, went out of the school. He thought that Chan had to be really tired to just fall asleep like that. This boy was truly a wonder to him. There were still many things he had to find out about him, but it wasn’t really a suitable time for questioning.

Outside the front gate he turned left, just like he did when he was going home. During his afterschool walks, he usually stopped at a 24/7 shop along the road. When Jisung opened the door, a small bell rang, signaling his arrival. The cashier greeted him and he just did a quick bow and disappeared between the shelves. He was walking around a little, looking at the food in multicolored packaging. He wondered for a moment, was eating something hot a better option? or was eating something sweet a better one? Maybe Chan was allergic to something? He forgot to ask that basic question, he didn’t want an exchange student dying in the first week, in his care. He eventually figured that taking everything would be the best choice. He took some candy and crisps off of the shelf in front of him and two ramen packages from another row. He placed all the items on the checkout and waited for them to be scanned.  
“Do you want me to make the ramen for you?” the cashier asked.  
“Yes” he answered after coming to the conclusion that even if the noodles got soggy, there was no way to make them in the club room, so this was his best shot, he would just have to walk back really fast.

After he paid, Jisung started rushing back. He had a hard time managing two plastic containers with soup and other snacks. The air got colder with every minute, he didn’t even know what hour it was, but probably not past ten. He shivered, he thought that next time he should bring a warmer sweater. Then he shook his head, it’s not gonna happen again, he’s not gonna sit with Chan at night again and help him with whatever he was going through.

If Jisung had free hands he would smack himself on the head. His weird thoughts started to surface again. For the last few weeks, he thought he learned how to better control his thoughts, even if it was almost impossible.

He came back to the school and went up the stairs for the hundredth time today. He knocked on the door to the club room with his shoe and made a poor attempt at opening it with his elbow. The handle only slipped and scratched his arm. He heard Chan walking up to the door from the other side and soon he was let in. He placed the overcooked and not very hot ramen on the table and slid one container to the opposite side. He put the rest of the snacks on the chair next to him and gestured to the other boy to sit down. Fortunately the cashier gave him chopsticks, so they didn’t have to go through an awkward realisation, that they don’t have anything to eat their food with.

The older one dug into his noodles like he hadn’t eaten in ages and was consuming it all at an alarming rate.  
“Hey, slow down or you might choke.” Jisung said and Chan just nodded.

They were sitting in silence with only food noises for a while and after one of them finished, he waited for a moment for the other one to finish as well.  
“Thank you.” Chan suddenly said.  
“For what?” Han replied confused.  
“You stayed with me, although you didn’t have to,” he said “that really helped me, you know, mentally” Jisung smiled and nodded.  
“It’s nothing, don’t worry. I couldn’t just leave you there, could I?”  
“Still, it was really nice of you.”  
“But, can I ask you one question?” Jisung hesitated for a moment. “It’s kind of personal.”  
“Umm, go ahead.” Chan said.  
“Can you tell me who were you talking to before? or what were you talking about?”  
“Maybe not this time” he looked down at his empty bowl, then he got up and went to his bag. He took out a notebook and sat back down.  
“What is it?” Jisung asked.  
“Basically, everytime i have an attack, a breakdown, whatever you call it, I write in this notebook what I think caused it.” Chan explained with a very nonchalant tone, even if he wasn’t talking about something so serious. He started flipping through the pages and Jisung got a little concerned, there were just so many of them.

He opened on a blank page, put a pen to it and immediately started writing. In the meantime Han took out his phone, it was 9:31 p.m. How long was he sleeping in the afternoon? Surely it was long, but why was Chan also there? Jisung pushed those thoughts away for the moment, he already asked too many questions today and none of them were answered, so better not add up to them. He opened his messages and sent a short text to his mom:  
‘Hey, I’ll be staying at my friends’ so I won’t be back tonight’ he quickly got a response.  
‘OK, but don’t forget to go to school tomorrow!’  
‘Don’t worry, I won’t’ he sent the last message and closed his phone.

He looked back at Chan, who was still writing. Jisung once again scanned his face. He once again noticed how adorable his expression was while he was concentrating. Han laid his face on his hands that were resting on the table. He let his thoughts flow, because it was too late to try to stop them. He couldn’t describe how he generally felt about Chan. He wasn’t really his close friend, like the rest of the people in the literature club, but he also wasn’t his worst enemy. Still, he wasn’t neutral to him, Jisung cared about him, in a weird way, definitely not openly, but in the back of his mind.

“Are you going back to your house tonight?” he asked the older boy.  
“No, I don’t really like being there,” he answered. “but how are we going to sleep? I don’t fancy the idea of staying up all night”  
“You can take the couch, I’m sure I won’t be falling asleep in a while.” when Chan looked a little confused, Had elaborated. “I was sleeping all the time from the end of classes until maybe 8 p.m, so I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep. even if I wanted to.”  
“And what if you get tired? Where will you sleep then?” he pressed. “I can always make some room on the couch. I’m sure that if we think about it we’ll manage.”  
“NO!” Jisung protested, before he thought about it. Now the other boy looked even more confused. “I mean that you went through a lot and I wouldn’t want to disturb you.” He even surprised himself with that. It’s not like he was scared, so his reaction didn’t make sense, even to him.  
“If you say so.” said Chan getting up, still looking suspiciously at him.

Han turned away, to not have to look at him. He had goosebumps just thinking about it. Laying there, next to Chan in some weird position that would ensure them both fitting on the couch made him shiver. Yet, he couldn’t stop himself trying to imagine it. His head twitched, because he tried to stop himself from slamming his head into the table, again.

* * *

He sat in that position, turned away from the other boy, for at least half an hour. Jisung was scrolling through the same social media sites for the tenth time, before he started seriously thinking about where he should sleep. He should’ve accepted Chan’s offer, because now that he was tired, he let go of his restraints a little.

Jisung got up. First he turned off the light in the room and then almost tripped on Chan’s shoes. He stayed still for a second, because he heard the other one move.  
“Jisung, is that you?” he asked in a sleepy voice. It sounded a lot lower than usual.  
“Yeah” Han answered.  
“If you want to sleep here you should’ve said so.” he said and Jisung heard shuffling. “I’ll make room for you.”  
“Okay, but how will we fit?”  
“We can lay opposite from each other. If you know what I’m talking about.”  
“I know, goodnight” Han also took off his shoes and sat near Chan’s legs. He heard the other boy shift and go back to sleep.

Jisung laid there for some time contemplating his existence. It got kind of warm and alas he fell asleep rather quickly. Though in an uncomfortable position, he didn’t care, he was too tired to care.


End file.
